An open letter to TMJ

Dear Temporomandibular joint, 

I think it is great and all that you hold my jaw onto my skull. You allow me to move the lower half of my face separately from the top of my face. I like that you allow me to chew and swallow food.

Recently you have been mean to me. You pop out of place. You cause swelling and inflammation. Most importantly you cause pain. I do not like pain. Knock it off.  I do not want to have to take a ton of ibuprofen every two hours. 

Stop causing pain and we can be friends again.

No love,

Chrissy

Letter to Rain

Dear Rain,

You are very loud on our metal roof. I have yet to venture very far outside due to your formidable presence, but I assume you have also made everything very wet. This is most unwelcome.

Not only are you wet, you are also cold! You are currently mixing three different physical states of one chemical substance all at once. There are tiny beads of ice mixed in with your liquid drops of water. I understand that you are vital to all [known] forms of life, but could you be less loud on my roof?

Thanks,
Chrissy